Calgon take me Away- or Better Yet- My Kids

I typed this up Wednesday but somehow ended up saving it to drafts instead of posting it. After you read it, you'll understand why.

Today is has been one of those days where I loved my children but I really didn't like them that much. I got up early this morning and had breakfast ready before the girls got up. Peyton got up all smiles and so did Landree. That was until I changed her diaper. She was excited to see Elmo on her diaper and then Bert but then got ticked off because it didn't have Abby Cadabby on it. So now I have a crying toddler trying to pitch a fit because there isn't a fairy on her butt. Hey Pampers, can you work on that for her? I finally got them downstairs and eating mini-waffles that are egg and milk free- yum.

Peyton was going to preview a dance class and has been excited all week and then started getting worried that the other kids would tease her because she didn't have a dance leotard and only had a gymnastics leotard. I finally got her calmed down from that, I didn't even know she knew what teasing meant. She then informed me that she had been in the sun too long. Why, Peyton. Because my goose egg turned yellow. So then we had a discussion on how bruises change color and I just about had them out of the door when Landree started telling me yucky, yucky. Landree needed a diaper change and I put a Cinderella pull-up on her which she normally loves and runs around showing everyone Rella. Well not today, I put her in the car screaming and crying about Elmo because I didn't put an Elmo diaper on her. This should be a fun day- did I mention that I realized last night that Landree was cutting her two year molars and that is why she has been running random fevers and having more fits than normal.

We finally made it to dance class and they took her in and found a pair of tap shoes for her and away she went. I then hit the parent's room and realized that it was packed and I had forgotten Landree's cup. They had kiddie picnic tables and one kid was eating cheez-its, another cheese balls, and I couldn't even identify what the other one was eating so no table for Landree. There were more designer labels on the moms in there than in Nordstroms. I don't even want to know what Chanel sunglasses and Dior tennis shoes cost. If anyone wants to have a moment of pure enjoyment, go visit a 4 year old dance class, you can't get much cuter than that.

Afterwards, Peyton came out and told me she LOVED it and could she come back. Her teacher came up and told me that she needed to move to the next class which was the same curriculum but faster. So I signed her up and paid her recital fee and for her costume. There was a discussion on what size costume to order for her because she wears a five now but the recital is 5 months away and the owner said that Peyton had large feet for her age and that usually means she's going to be tall (In my mind I am thinking she's not a puppy). We then went next door to the dance store- 40% off the whole store- whooohooo. Trust me- there is hardly a worse place to take two girls than the dance store. Trying on 6 leotards, 4 pairs of shoes, and a toddler throwing a fit because she isn't getting new shoes was almost more than I could take. $40 later we left with a leotard, ballet shoes, and a pair of tap shoes and a still crying toddler.

I nixed the idea of going to get something notarized and should have nixed the idea of going to the grocery store. We made it through with no problem and the girls got their Buddy Bucks. Of course the Buddy Bucks machine was broken and they couldn't put in their dollars and I left another store with a crying toddler who was sobbing- buck, buck, buck. On the way home, Peyton would not stop talking. Now she thinks she knows Knock-knock jokes:

Knock-Knock
Who's there?
Peyton
Peyton Who?
Peyton Craft- we then had a discussion on how this wasn't a joke because it wasn't funny.

Next one: Knock-Knock
Who's there?
Abby
Abby Who?
Abby Landree- now mama, that's funny. Lovely! Peyton do you think you could stop talking for awhile. Why Mama? Because you are talking too much right now. But mama, I love talking too much. I know.

We got home, unloaded groceries, got our supper in the crockpot and tried cutting off my finger in the process, fed the girls lunch, changed Peyton into school clothes, got a picture of Nana, Nicki the American Girl doll, and her cross necklace ready for show and tell (N week) and were out the door in less than an hour. Peyton then announces that her teachers will be so proud of her necklace because she is going to God's house with her cross necklace. She then started worrying that her friends would tease her about her necklace or not like it. So that conversation took us all the way to school. Of course Landree didn't want to leave the school and laid herself out in the doorway to express her displeasure. So again, I put a crying toddler in the car. I called Brian and told him that it was only 1:15 but I was already needing a stiff drink.

I got her down for a nap and people I think I could hear the angels singing it was so peaceful in my house. I didn't even do the laundry because I was afraid the sound of the machines would send me over the edge (good excuse huh?). After nap we picked up Abby and Kacy from daycare and went to Peyton's school where I realized that I had forgotten Peyton's leotard. So this time I put a crying 4 year old in the car. We went to gymnastics to drop off Kacy and Abby and I filled out a drop form for Peyton and left with this time two crying children. Brian actually got home a little earlier than normal and we watched Landree stuff herself on Teriyaki Beef and Rice. We got them bathed and in the bed in record time. It is now 9:15 and Brian has mentioned going to bed. I would agree but that means I would have to drag myself out of this chair and up the stairs. Do I really have to do this again tomorrow?